Pre-Life Crisis

that he doesn't wear condoms.

This is the quote that the nurse practitioner relayed to me the other day when I was getting my annual. It was quite hilarious, aside from being so sad that some young woman believes that this is okay. The nurse practitioner came in, introduced herself (as much as I love Planned Parenthood, it seems like they have a different person every year), and said "No offense, but I hope I don't remember your name at the end of this. I've had a day of strange people I can't forget." I laughed and hoped that I would indeed be forgettable.

So she had just gotten out of some exam where the woman actually said the bit about the boyfriend. Can we just think about that for a minute? So she could totally get pregnant, and the boyfriend could be getting a little action on the side and give her some nasty disease. What an idiot.

But this wasn't the best story. Oh no, it was not. I hoe you're sitting down while you read this. If you're on some mobile device, in addition to me being jealous, I suggest you sit as well.

Apparently the nurse practitioner lady had come across someone who was too forgetful to buy condoms, or too lazy, or too something, but she and her boyfriend made their own. That's right, homemade condoms. Now, if you were to look around your house and think to yourself, "what could I make a condom out of?" I'll tell you.

Saran wrap and rubber bands.

You read that correctly.

I am not sure where to begin on that one, so I'll just let that soak in for a while.

I am very happy that I was completely forgettable. Of course since I'm not a complete idiot, it wasn't very hard.

In other news, I went swimming Sunday. This was my first attempt at swimming since my accident. I could only do about half of my usual workout, and my flip turns were pretty bad as it hurts a lot to curl up, but dammit I swam.